When Life Gives You Lemons

11Jul12

I kind of broke last night. Had a nervous breakdown and poor J had to pick up the pieces. It has just been one thing after the other and I just couldn’t deal anymore. It has been a never-ending train of crap that barreled me over like a steam roller.

While on vacation, there was a huge storm and our apartment lost power for a couple days and we lost all the food we had in the fridge and freezer. The person we had watching our place neglected to tell us the power went out until it was too late and there is now a sickly sweet rotting smell that we cannot get out of the house. We had SO much food in our freezer, mainly bags of meat which all thawed in the triple digit heat and re-froze when the power came on. J has spent practically every waking moment trying to find something to get rid of the smell. I’m rather irked about this situation, mainly because it could have been prevented. If they had told us a couple days sooner when they discovered the power outage, we could have either saved everything in the freezer or had everything taken out before it started smelling. And to add insult to injury, all our plants were half dead when we came home, which was the main reason we had them coming to check on our place. Now, let me just say I am VERY grateful to have friends who are willing to help us out in our time of need. And very thankful that they dealt with throwing away everything that spoiled. But when you agree to a favor, you should do your part.

The daunting task of moving also got to me. Crunching the numbers, there is just not enough money to go around. But in all honesty, is there every really enough?! Everything that needs to happen in the next month or so is making my head swirl. And there aren’t enough paychecks. It’s going to be super tight for awhile, but we will get through it. I have to remind myself to take it one day at a time or else I will go crazy. J and I are considering second jobs, but with my schedule and him starting classes in August, it may not be feasible. Still considering the possibility since the extra income would be monumentally helpful. So, currently it will be Ramen noodles and carpooling to work until we can figure out another solution.

J’s school is also a heavy hitter at the time being. He is going back to community college to get his paramedic degree and I am very proud of him. But, just starting has hit a lot of speed bumps and I/he refuse to let our current situation keep him from starting again. But it is also another level of stress – financially, mentally and emotionally. There is a lot to get done beforehand and a very small window to complete them. Between this and the move, the fall is going to be a huge adjustment for us.

And as always, there are unexpected expenses that kick you when you are down. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, something else comes in to ruin everything. I think that is what did me in. Not any one thing, but the culmination of all the little things snowballing into a very frazzled and overwhelmed B.

I know there are people with bigger problems than my own and I do not mean to make this a pity party for myself. But there are just times when there is nothing more to say than WTF. Then you breathe, take a step back, and try figure out what you have to do next before you get slammed by the next thing.

I’m taking baby steps… preferably with some tequila to turn these lemons into something better.

A vacation post is coming, just need to get my head on straight first.

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