Show Your Bridesmaids Some Love


You know the saying “always a bridesmaid, never the bride”? That’s my life. I am almost Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses. This year, I am in two weddings and attending four. Out of nine weddings in four years, I will have been in five. It feels like a lot of weddings in a small amount of time. I have loved being a part of every single one of them and sharing in the celebration.

I have a wide variety of friends with very different personalities. This year will be the second time I will be a maid of honor for a friend and the two could not be more night and day. One has shown me what a grateful bride is and the other has shown me what not to do and how not to treat your friends. I am so completely burnt out and frustrated over this wedding, it makes me not want to get married myself. It’s to the point where it is hurting the friendship. It is the opposite of what should happen during this entire process.

Some things I have experienced that all future brides should take into consideration when it comes to their bridal party:

  1. Do not treat your friends like the help. You cannot order them around like servants and expect them to still want to hang out with you.
  2. “Thank you” goes a long way. Say it loud and say it often.
  3. If you say one thing, do not act in another. Also, don’t play dumb when you get called out on it. If you want something, speak up.
  4. Remember your friends are doing you a favor by being in their wedding party. This is not an obligation and they can walk away at any time. They don’t have to do it because you say it.
  5. Be mindful of people’s financial situations. People should not be going broke to give you what you want.
  6. If what you have in mind is more lavish than what people can do, be willing to make a contribution. Refer to number 5.
  7. Your wedding might be your entire world, but it is not your bridal party’s. Remember they have a life outside of you.
  8. People have a lot of things going on, be understanding and sympathetic.
  9. Do not expect people to give you the world when all you give are pennies. Giving is a two-way street.
  10. Be grateful and show appreciation to your bridal party. They are doing their best to give you everything you want.

Weddings are a time to celebrate love and happiness. Don’t ruin it for everyone because you have to be selfish and self-centered. Your friends will be around a lot longer than your wedding day.

Who else has horrible bridal party stories? I know I can’t be the only one.


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