Off the Wagon and into the Dirt

29Apr14

I can be a very determined person, but disciplined? That is only seems possible in certain aspects of my life. Health and weight loss does not seem to be one of them. I seem to lose steam about two months in and can’t get my groove back. This has been no exception. I went out of town 2 weeks ago for a bachelorette party and it has been all down hill since then. I have gained back 1.5 lbs and I am afraid what the scale will say at my next weigh-in. I can’t seem to stop myself from the snacking or sneaking extra bites here and there. I haven’t been getting my water intake and I have done zero exercise. I haven’t been able to catch up on sleep and feel like a walking zombie most days. All is a recipe for disaster.

How do people do it? How do they constantly keep themselves motivates and disciplined? I am most definitely lacking in that skill. The sad thing is, the wedding that was my motivator is 2 weeks away and I couldn’t care less at this point. As long as the dress zips, I’m alright. But didn’t I go into this to get the best me out of it? Even though the wedding would come and go, I would still improve upon myself.

Dieting takes a lot of work, and it is taking everything out of me. To be so restrictive when I am so exhausted is not working. J wants to cook all these amazing things and I have to tell him no because I don’t have enough points. I need to exercise, but my body just wants to take a nap. I need to cook, but the thought of being in the kitchen makes me feel tired and defeated.

I know these are all excuses and if I really wanted to do it I could. But how do you get over that mental hump and get off your ass and do it? I’m really good at making excuses and talking myself out of something. How do I so the opposite? At the end of the day, it doesn’t effect anyone else but myself. It’s how I feel and see myself that changes.

I keep telling myself I’ll be better the next day.. Or the day after that… Or the day after that…. That day needs to be today.

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